God sometimes gives me things to share with people but he gives much more to others. Here is a short part from a sermon that I think is relevant for the body on the revelation of playing with God and having fun with Him. This has changed some of my attitude towards God and helped me open my heart up more to what He has for me... so good!
the pictures in this video are so weird and irrelevant, but the message, oh goodness and truth... soak in this tidbit and if you find that it moves your heart find all 4 full sermons on the playfulness of God by Allen Hood!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Staring into the Light
To stare blindingly into a bright light hurts the eyes. But to be enraptured with the light makes the turning away from it impossible. So captured that you can only stare at its source, not the ring around it or darkness beyond. This is a lamp on the hill.
To stare at the Sun damages the eyes but you can’t turn away from the light. When you do turn away, due to the intelligent and knowing thoughts that come from without, the circle is burned into the eye. Whenever one turns, you still see the Sun. You view the whole world through a light stained lens that refuses to fade to the darkness of the flesh that cover’s one’s eyes, there is still that circle of light. Inescapable. All because you stare at what creates light for longer than the smart ones tell you. The glory of the created Sun proves its own existence with its light which no human can escape, especially when stared at in marvel.
How much more will this be with God! He who is light, created what currently gives light to our world and will one day replace it as our source, He shines. The Son’s Glory glares into our hearts, into our souls and the light will never recede, will never fade. To stare at the Son transforms the eyes and one does not, cannot look away for His Glory and brightness captivates and cultivates. Though thoughts tell you to turn, though the intelligence of the world claims it will be too painful and pointless and untrue, the eyes of the inner-man that is again born knows the light and will know to keep looking. May we go blind so we can truly see! The eyes will then see through the blood stained lens of the God-man, of the Son.
May my eyes be burned with His image that I cannot escape, even when I try to shut Him out. May my eyes be damaged and destroyed so they can be made new by His hands. May the wickedness, corruption and death be burned out and replaced with life, truth and the light of the way. Yes, I will stare unwaveringly at God, letting the effects come unabashed and unashamed of the mark it leaves, only caring to continue looking at the Son. It’s all about Him, His light, His Glory. And He, I will look to all of my days so my eyes only ever see His light, even if I look away.
Luke 11:33-36
Jesus said he is the light of the world. He is the light.
To stare at the Sun damages the eyes but you can’t turn away from the light. When you do turn away, due to the intelligent and knowing thoughts that come from without, the circle is burned into the eye. Whenever one turns, you still see the Sun. You view the whole world through a light stained lens that refuses to fade to the darkness of the flesh that cover’s one’s eyes, there is still that circle of light. Inescapable. All because you stare at what creates light for longer than the smart ones tell you. The glory of the created Sun proves its own existence with its light which no human can escape, especially when stared at in marvel.
How much more will this be with God! He who is light, created what currently gives light to our world and will one day replace it as our source, He shines. The Son’s Glory glares into our hearts, into our souls and the light will never recede, will never fade. To stare at the Son transforms the eyes and one does not, cannot look away for His Glory and brightness captivates and cultivates. Though thoughts tell you to turn, though the intelligence of the world claims it will be too painful and pointless and untrue, the eyes of the inner-man that is again born knows the light and will know to keep looking. May we go blind so we can truly see! The eyes will then see through the blood stained lens of the God-man, of the Son.
May my eyes be burned with His image that I cannot escape, even when I try to shut Him out. May my eyes be damaged and destroyed so they can be made new by His hands. May the wickedness, corruption and death be burned out and replaced with life, truth and the light of the way. Yes, I will stare unwaveringly at God, letting the effects come unabashed and unashamed of the mark it leaves, only caring to continue looking at the Son. It’s all about Him, His light, His Glory. And He, I will look to all of my days so my eyes only ever see His light, even if I look away.
Luke 11:33-36
Jesus said he is the light of the world. He is the light.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
My Soul’s Symphony
The most recent development in where I am at, really the first thing I've written since Wasted Time and the darker pieces not here. It came during the Real Life Fall Retreat 2010 during the morning session. It reveals God's hope and healing that is present in this desert, this wilderness.
Play my heart O Lord
Play my soul O Father
This out of tune instrument
which squeaks and squeals
has been locked in a case
in a case on display
as if a trophy instead of a beat
You won my heart O Lord
with love mercy and grace
my broken strings were made whole
the keys replaced
the reed restored
it bled notes of praise
powerful harmonies interlaced
for Your Glory and Your name
the notes filled the air
others heard and came
they saw your mighty hand
playing Love’s ballad true
and then it changed
This heart felt big
my soul grew in bloated fame
the notes, the melodies and harmonies
seemed ever more like mine
forgetting the grand hand that played
desiring nothing more than to sound good
so I put my pretty heart in this case
the glass surrounding made it shine
eyes stared, words pried
and no longer did I let him play
choosing hype over his Holy way
People stared but heard no sound
This well restored instrument
was more lost than found
I turned my heart O Lord
Time passed, change came
The people walked by forgetting
how this heart once made sound
a song long forgotten
an echo was all I heard
but now I long for what purpose
the reason why I was made
a symphony of the soul
that reveals a heart to be whole
letting the Spirit fill His role!
so I pushed the glass
pulled hacked and banged
making much noise
and someone came
a laughing face that pointed to a lock
black and rusted and never noticed before
my heart became silent
as my soul was sunk
hope seemed distance
I think I knew it once
So here I am
out of tune and trapped
stuck
My heart shrivels in this case
searching for that once seen hand
crying out in a disjointed tone
Play my heart O Lord
cause my soul to make melodies of holiness
My purpose is found only in You
without Your powerful hand, Your skill
my heart dies in a silence
only you can fulfill
the lock pops off, broken
the glass just gone
I’m pulled out and tweaked
As you bring me into the right key
My heart hurts but O Lord
the notes you play
for Your Glory and Your fame
soothing, the sound
this symphony
Play my heart O Lord
Play my soul O Father
This out of tune instrument
which squeaks and squeals
has been locked in a case
in a case on display
as if a trophy instead of a beat
You won my heart O Lord
with love mercy and grace
my broken strings were made whole
the keys replaced
the reed restored
it bled notes of praise
powerful harmonies interlaced
for Your Glory and Your name
the notes filled the air
others heard and came
they saw your mighty hand
playing Love’s ballad true
and then it changed
This heart felt big
my soul grew in bloated fame
the notes, the melodies and harmonies
seemed ever more like mine
forgetting the grand hand that played
desiring nothing more than to sound good
so I put my pretty heart in this case
the glass surrounding made it shine
eyes stared, words pried
and no longer did I let him play
choosing hype over his Holy way
People stared but heard no sound
This well restored instrument
was more lost than found
I turned my heart O Lord
Time passed, change came
The people walked by forgetting
how this heart once made sound
a song long forgotten
an echo was all I heard
but now I long for what purpose
the reason why I was made
a symphony of the soul
that reveals a heart to be whole
letting the Spirit fill His role!
so I pushed the glass
pulled hacked and banged
making much noise
and someone came
a laughing face that pointed to a lock
black and rusted and never noticed before
my heart became silent
as my soul was sunk
hope seemed distance
I think I knew it once
So here I am
out of tune and trapped
stuck
My heart shrivels in this case
searching for that once seen hand
crying out in a disjointed tone
Play my heart O Lord
cause my soul to make melodies of holiness
My purpose is found only in You
without Your powerful hand, Your skill
my heart dies in a silence
only you can fulfill
the lock pops off, broken
the glass just gone
I’m pulled out and tweaked
As you bring me into the right key
My heart hurts but O Lord
the notes you play
for Your Glory and Your fame
soothing, the sound
this symphony
Wasted Time
This was written this summer (early August 2010) during one of the hardest and darkest points of my life. It would be considered rated R.
How many moments must go unremembered and insignificant?
How much time do I spend not chasing after that which I love?
Would the greatest tragedy in life be that I wasted everything, all this, right now.
I have, for months.
I have wasted the moments, the seconds that mean the most because I did not pursue what I love.
I did not embrace life or hope or joy.
I shunned all that was good and right for the sake of temporary rebellion and bliss.
I sit in shame and pain due to these wasted months of apathy.
There is no one to blame but my own self, my own broken soul.
I just wanted to see how dark I really am inside.
How deep the ruts of selfishness and debauchery went in my heart.
I succeeded.
I hate it.
I spent time, no; spend time, sitting and smoking and saying fuck to whoever will listen.
I ignore the small voice deep in my heart that I can barely hear anymore.
I can’t even tell you the last time I talked to him let alone listened.
He used to scream in my head. He used to take up so much room in my heart.
Now, I can’t hear him even when I try.
So this is a hardening of the heart.
This is walking away.
I didn’t take leaps or decide to run the opposite direction because I was pissed off.
I turned my head to the other path and noticed how good it looked and how I had never been there before. I wanted a new adventure but not too far from the path I had chosen. Just take a few steps to taste this untried life. I wanted to go where some of my friends were. I wanted to go where I had thought I would one day end up. I wanted to piss off others on my chosen path, you know, those stuck up ones who couldn’t see anything new. So I took a few more steps.
Then a few weeks ago I looked back and realized I couldn’t find the path anymore. I was lost. I tried getting back.
I tried doing all I could to fight through bushes and climb over trees but I still could not find the path I really wanted.
Once, maybe twice, I thought I saw it.
In the end though, it was too far for me to get back.
So here I am.
Lost and missing that one path, the only path worth taking.
I miss my one true love. I want to tell him again, just once more, that he means everything to me.
I want to be given a hard riddle and watch as he shows me how it works.
I want to be held in his arms and hear his voice.
But I’ve tried.
The most I’ve come up with is telling him how much I miss him and love him.
My love is not enough.
It never has been.
Some part of me knows what needs to happen, what needs to be spoken.
But for some reason I can’t remember and on those rare moments when the sun hits my eyes and lights up this night in my mind, my tongue doesn’t go through with it.
My feet stand still, cemented into the ground of my death.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I cry most days but no one sees.
Those who are on the true path somehow miss the fact that I’m miles away crying in pain from this separation.
So again, here I am.
Lost with no direction or guide but my own shit filled soul.
The only true guide I ever had, silenced by my own indifference.
I am wasting the time that could have been spent with you.
All the moments that should have been significant are now lost.
The bond that should have been strengthened now barely exists.
Here I am. Crying and staring into blank space that should be you.
And sometimes, when I feel an ounce of hope, I whisper I still love you.
Do you still love me?
How many moments must go unremembered and insignificant?
How much time do I spend not chasing after that which I love?
Would the greatest tragedy in life be that I wasted everything, all this, right now.
I have, for months.
I have wasted the moments, the seconds that mean the most because I did not pursue what I love.
I did not embrace life or hope or joy.
I shunned all that was good and right for the sake of temporary rebellion and bliss.
I sit in shame and pain due to these wasted months of apathy.
There is no one to blame but my own self, my own broken soul.
I just wanted to see how dark I really am inside.
How deep the ruts of selfishness and debauchery went in my heart.
I succeeded.
I hate it.
I spent time, no; spend time, sitting and smoking and saying fuck to whoever will listen.
I ignore the small voice deep in my heart that I can barely hear anymore.
I can’t even tell you the last time I talked to him let alone listened.
He used to scream in my head. He used to take up so much room in my heart.
Now, I can’t hear him even when I try.
So this is a hardening of the heart.
This is walking away.
I didn’t take leaps or decide to run the opposite direction because I was pissed off.
I turned my head to the other path and noticed how good it looked and how I had never been there before. I wanted a new adventure but not too far from the path I had chosen. Just take a few steps to taste this untried life. I wanted to go where some of my friends were. I wanted to go where I had thought I would one day end up. I wanted to piss off others on my chosen path, you know, those stuck up ones who couldn’t see anything new. So I took a few more steps.
Then a few weeks ago I looked back and realized I couldn’t find the path anymore. I was lost. I tried getting back.
I tried doing all I could to fight through bushes and climb over trees but I still could not find the path I really wanted.
Once, maybe twice, I thought I saw it.
In the end though, it was too far for me to get back.
So here I am.
Lost and missing that one path, the only path worth taking.
I miss my one true love. I want to tell him again, just once more, that he means everything to me.
I want to be given a hard riddle and watch as he shows me how it works.
I want to be held in his arms and hear his voice.
But I’ve tried.
The most I’ve come up with is telling him how much I miss him and love him.
My love is not enough.
It never has been.
Some part of me knows what needs to happen, what needs to be spoken.
But for some reason I can’t remember and on those rare moments when the sun hits my eyes and lights up this night in my mind, my tongue doesn’t go through with it.
My feet stand still, cemented into the ground of my death.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I cry most days but no one sees.
Those who are on the true path somehow miss the fact that I’m miles away crying in pain from this separation.
So again, here I am.
Lost with no direction or guide but my own shit filled soul.
The only true guide I ever had, silenced by my own indifference.
I am wasting the time that could have been spent with you.
All the moments that should have been significant are now lost.
The bond that should have been strengthened now barely exists.
Here I am. Crying and staring into blank space that should be you.
And sometimes, when I feel an ounce of hope, I whisper I still love you.
Do you still love me?
Monday, November 8, 2010
Who cries out? Conversations of El Elyon
I was strolling across a bricked path that led through a grassy oval
Humming an ageless tune from generations before
a strangled voice of high pitched qualities reached my ear
stopping listening hearing
“He is Lord He is almighty He is Holy Raise your eyes to the Holy One”
Yet no being was around to say such curious words
a squeaky “down hear” brought my head snapping down to look at the ground
I starred with my jaw slack and eyes bulging
a brick was speaking, speaking praise to one he referred to as Holy One
the brick looked at me, as if such things are possible
it said “confused you may be, descendant of Adam and Eve, you are hearing me thusly.
I decided to cry out the glories and praises of God for no one else had.”
I contemplated his words in the midst of disbelief and wonder, understanding came
Little brick, why do you say none had spoken His glory and praise here
Why, just the other night such things had been done.
“Had they? I did not know of this or had not heard.”
Brick, it happens just over there not far from where you lay
“Well, it had not reached mine ears” unaware that he was without such devices of man
You’re upset little brick, please tell me why this is so?
“Because, you say these people gather and praise His majesty but I have not heard.
Either it is not loud enough or it isn’t true. Everyday people walk over me
Everyday faithless ones live their lives ignorant of He who made them
of He who Loves them and wishes them to know and love Him
Everyday peoples of all ages and places walk over me not proclaiming His Glory.
You say these people do this thing, I say I do not hear that which you claim.”
At that point the brick, cracked and walked over, cried though he had no eyes.
broken, Oh my heart, hearing the sorrows of his own and the sorrows of not hearing
I lifted m eyes from those glistening water drops and looked around
people sitting on a bench two cuddling some studying
people walk by starring listening to iPod talking to friends
people playing football touch style playing ultimate frisbee in some seriousness
people running after a dog dragging an orange leash
people everywhere going about oblivious to the brick’s sorrow and tears
none of them praising the one the brick spoke of
looking back down, the little brick had dried his tears
“Blessed is he who believes. Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty”
Words did not come from my mouth though I tried to force them
So I sat
in the middle of the brick path I sat by my new friend
pondering all he said while waiting for words
the brick continued to shout though it was barely heard
“ He is the One true God. The Holy One. Praise Him all ye peoples.”
After the sun had moved across the sky from one spot to another
understanding grew allowing words to flow
little brick, you say you have heard no human praising the Holy One.
Well brick sit back and listen
Singing softly my voice rang out with the words
“Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything,
And I will adore You.”
the brick joined in and we sang together to the Holy One
after the laughter faded away and with a smile upon my lips
see little brick, praise to the Holy One, to the creator for He is lifted up by us
and now you have heard
“My dear daughter of Eve, this is true. But I ask you when you leave who will praise him?
tomorrow when you no longer sit here who will give Glory to Him?
today there may be no need for me to shout out His praises
but there will be a day when I am the only one to do such things.”
Brick you are mistaken. Though times seem rough now there is only one way all of this can end.
One day soon the God-Man will come forth from the clouds
He will make all things right and someday soon
All shall bow and praise Him, glorify His name
And guess what will lead up to that moment?
In the latter days they will fear the Lord and His goodness
His goodness little brick!
“and what shall you do now?”
we will be watching and praying right up till that moment
Oh yes, for we do watch and pray and declare His goodness even now
There are those who walk over you, on whom He rests upon
While worshiping Him in their hearts.
they walk by you and over you having conversations with Him
they hum and sing to Him who created them
they gather, meet in the center of this place and cry out into the night
Little brick, don’t you see His name is being lifted up
His tears were long forgotten as a sparkle seemed to shine in his absent eyes
It saddens my heart you have not heard or seen this
And though this threatens to bring me down instead it urges me on
to shout louder and sing more
to join with others in prayer
to release Holy Spirit into every situation
to stand in this world as a redemptive agent
“redemption, what a thing for you humans to receive. You know, when redemption came to you all, that was when we, creation, experienced freedom.
Why does it seem so quite right now?”
Oh, it seems like the quite before the thunder
I cannot be sure but brick
we happen to be coming up on a storm
when God will rain down His love and we will see more people
Glorify Him than we ever have seen on this campus
And brick, I may be a descendant of Adam and Eve but do not be mistaken
I am no daughter of Eve
I am a daughter of God through Jesus
for His blood is stronger than Adam’s
and even now, we, His children, happen to be birthing something beautiful here
through labor pains and tears and cries
that beautiful joy will come
Don’t you see brick
though I have enjoyed hearing you shout His praises I hope there will be a day
when you no longer feel that you must and I pray that day is today
little brick?
He did not speak nor sing nor shout
I praised more, rose, then continued on my way with a smile still on my face
I never heard the brick again though I check on him often
Sometimes I wonder if my ears and eyes deceived me that day or if it was all just a dream
although I think it matters not for one thing I do know
a brick no longer needs to praise the Holy One
for today has come
Humming an ageless tune from generations before
a strangled voice of high pitched qualities reached my ear
stopping listening hearing
“He is Lord He is almighty He is Holy Raise your eyes to the Holy One”
Yet no being was around to say such curious words
a squeaky “down hear” brought my head snapping down to look at the ground
I starred with my jaw slack and eyes bulging
a brick was speaking, speaking praise to one he referred to as Holy One
the brick looked at me, as if such things are possible
it said “confused you may be, descendant of Adam and Eve, you are hearing me thusly.
I decided to cry out the glories and praises of God for no one else had.”
I contemplated his words in the midst of disbelief and wonder, understanding came
Little brick, why do you say none had spoken His glory and praise here
Why, just the other night such things had been done.
“Had they? I did not know of this or had not heard.”
Brick, it happens just over there not far from where you lay
“Well, it had not reached mine ears” unaware that he was without such devices of man
You’re upset little brick, please tell me why this is so?
“Because, you say these people gather and praise His majesty but I have not heard.
Either it is not loud enough or it isn’t true. Everyday people walk over me
Everyday faithless ones live their lives ignorant of He who made them
of He who Loves them and wishes them to know and love Him
Everyday peoples of all ages and places walk over me not proclaiming His Glory.
You say these people do this thing, I say I do not hear that which you claim.”
At that point the brick, cracked and walked over, cried though he had no eyes.
broken, Oh my heart, hearing the sorrows of his own and the sorrows of not hearing
I lifted m eyes from those glistening water drops and looked around
people sitting on a bench two cuddling some studying
people walk by starring listening to iPod talking to friends
people playing football touch style playing ultimate frisbee in some seriousness
people running after a dog dragging an orange leash
people everywhere going about oblivious to the brick’s sorrow and tears
none of them praising the one the brick spoke of
looking back down, the little brick had dried his tears
“Blessed is he who believes. Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty”
Words did not come from my mouth though I tried to force them
So I sat
in the middle of the brick path I sat by my new friend
pondering all he said while waiting for words
the brick continued to shout though it was barely heard
“ He is the One true God. The Holy One. Praise Him all ye peoples.”
After the sun had moved across the sky from one spot to another
understanding grew allowing words to flow
little brick, you say you have heard no human praising the Holy One.
Well brick sit back and listen
Singing softly my voice rang out with the words
“Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything,
And I will adore You.”
the brick joined in and we sang together to the Holy One
after the laughter faded away and with a smile upon my lips
see little brick, praise to the Holy One, to the creator for He is lifted up by us
and now you have heard
“My dear daughter of Eve, this is true. But I ask you when you leave who will praise him?
tomorrow when you no longer sit here who will give Glory to Him?
today there may be no need for me to shout out His praises
but there will be a day when I am the only one to do such things.”
Brick you are mistaken. Though times seem rough now there is only one way all of this can end.
One day soon the God-Man will come forth from the clouds
He will make all things right and someday soon
All shall bow and praise Him, glorify His name
And guess what will lead up to that moment?
In the latter days they will fear the Lord and His goodness
His goodness little brick!
“and what shall you do now?”
we will be watching and praying right up till that moment
Oh yes, for we do watch and pray and declare His goodness even now
There are those who walk over you, on whom He rests upon
While worshiping Him in their hearts.
they walk by you and over you having conversations with Him
they hum and sing to Him who created them
they gather, meet in the center of this place and cry out into the night
Little brick, don’t you see His name is being lifted up
His tears were long forgotten as a sparkle seemed to shine in his absent eyes
It saddens my heart you have not heard or seen this
And though this threatens to bring me down instead it urges me on
to shout louder and sing more
to join with others in prayer
to release Holy Spirit into every situation
to stand in this world as a redemptive agent
“redemption, what a thing for you humans to receive. You know, when redemption came to you all, that was when we, creation, experienced freedom.
Why does it seem so quite right now?”
Oh, it seems like the quite before the thunder
I cannot be sure but brick
we happen to be coming up on a storm
when God will rain down His love and we will see more people
Glorify Him than we ever have seen on this campus
And brick, I may be a descendant of Adam and Eve but do not be mistaken
I am no daughter of Eve
I am a daughter of God through Jesus
for His blood is stronger than Adam’s
and even now, we, His children, happen to be birthing something beautiful here
through labor pains and tears and cries
that beautiful joy will come
Don’t you see brick
though I have enjoyed hearing you shout His praises I hope there will be a day
when you no longer feel that you must and I pray that day is today
little brick?
He did not speak nor sing nor shout
I praised more, rose, then continued on my way with a smile still on my face
I never heard the brick again though I check on him often
Sometimes I wonder if my ears and eyes deceived me that day or if it was all just a dream
although I think it matters not for one thing I do know
a brick no longer needs to praise the Holy One
for today has come
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